


Picking up the pieces

by KazuoKiriyama



Category: Kamen Rider Wizard
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, First Kiss, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Touch-Starved, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 15:44:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20212255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KazuoKiriyama/pseuds/KazuoKiriyama
Summary: Sometimes it's hard to realise what you need when you never knew what was missingFic for valkyrierising for toKISSatsu!





	Picking up the pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [valkyrierising](https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkyrierising/gifts).

> I apologise if this isn't very good I sort of didn't realise I would be working basically every day of this exchange ;-;

Haruto had been slowly rediscovering his own identity. Slowly but surely replacing the emptiness that sits heavy in his chest, in place of despair but no less painful and daunting, with a softer, lighter feeling. He almost rejects the touches he so craves, as if he doesn’t want them or deserve them- as alien as it is to actually acknowledge it. Haruto is a tool, Haruto is a weapon in the fight against despair, Haruto is the light with which gates will be guided to the side of hope. Haruto is a wizard, a magic user, a strange creature not quite Phantom but still feeling not quite human. And above all else, Haruto is an object with a use, somebody who should put his mission above all else. 

He hadn’t realised he was touch starved until Shunpei had their hands on his shoulders, fussing and massaging away the tight knots that had formed from fighting and slouching and wearing a binder. He hadn’t realised he was touch starved until Shunpei had placed their lips gently to the back of his neck, just under his hairline. Their breath tickles the back of his neck as they let out a little nervous laugh and apologise. It’s different to their usual laugh, sunshine personified, instead it’s quiet, embarrassed. When they move away he’s left confused and flustered and wanting. 

He hadn’t realised he was touch starved until Rinko had pulled him into a hug. It’s entirely one sided, Haruto’s arms pinned to his sides by both her gleeful embrace and his own shock at the sudden gesture. She’s talking and he can barely register it over the way his chest tightens. He feels too warm and too cold and giddy with excitement and about to cry all at once. Thankfully she lets him go before he can do anything embarrassing, but all of a sudden she leans forward and kisses his cheek and it’s as if his brain shorts out for a second. By the time his hand reaches up to gently touch his cheek, still tingling from the contact, she’s off fussing over something. It’s probably a good thing that she doesn’t look back over to see the fond smile he gives her.

He hadn’t realised he was touch starved until Nitoh’s warm hands had run their way down his body, and the cocky grin he gives him as he runs his fingers into the other man’s thick hair is almost entirely a front. The contrast between the cold concrete digging into his back- only barely shielded by the groundsheet of Nitoh’s tent- and the heat coursing through his flush in his cheeks and the pounding in his chest is intoxicating. What brings him back to his senses is a playful nip to his inner thigh that drags a surprised whine from his throat, and Nitoh smirks up at him as he kisses an apology into his skin. Haruto has to work hard to convince himself that the way his pulse races is purely due to arousal. 

He hadn’t realised they were touch starved until one night, at the dead of night, he had stirred at the sound of his door opening, and the feeling of weight settling in his bed next to him. For the first time since he met her Koyomi feels frail as she tentatively shuffles up against him. Somehow this feels right. His arms find their way around her middle and he buries his face in her hair. Her hands shake as she grips onto his shirt. Somehow this feels like how it should be. She doesn’t know why her voice trembles as she apologises. He doesn’t know why she’s even apologising in the first place. And when they finally get used to holding each other like this, Haruto reaches up to push a stray lock of hair away from her face. She can barely meet his eye, and her brows furrow even more than usual.  
Haruto kisses her like she’s the last beautiful thing left on this earth, like she’s the only thing keeping him tethered to their fractured reality.  
Koyomi hopes it’s just her imagination.

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, barely proof read, anxious boys can i get a hell yeah


End file.
